


you’re the only one that i want

by lily_winterwood



Series: Intersections [3]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic), Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Actual Obnoxious Zimmermann Cousin JJ Leroy, An-An - Freeform, But they all get over it because they're adults, Celebrity Crush, ESPN Body Issue, M/M, Mild canon divergence, Mildly Possessive Behavior, Multimedia, References to Chihoko, Representation Matters, Slice of Life, Talk Shows, mild jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-03 00:57:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12737778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lily_winterwood/pseuds/lily_winterwood
Summary: “So, if I promise to not get weirdly jealous if I do happen to catch you with a copy of Yuuri Katsuki’s spread forAn-Ansometime in the future, will you promise to let my copy of Viktor Nikiforov’s Body Issue spread go?”Jack considers it for all of a second before laughing, kissing Bitty on the forehead. “Was that a chirp or a serious request?” he asks.In which Jack and Bitty are arguably Viktor and Yuuri’s biggest fans, and everyone else thinks it’s hilarious.





	you’re the only one that i want

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my actual YOIversary, and I wanted to do a little something for the first fics I wrote for these fandoms! This is more or less a spiritual sequel of the first fic in my crossover series, [searching through the crowd](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8610187), though obviously there have been some tweaks to the worldbuilding and characterisation since then. Most notably: I decided to remove homophobia from this world because it's not an issue in YOI-verse, though I acknowledge that it very much is in Check Please-verse.
> 
> Once again, mild touches of speculation for the end of Check Please, so this might be retconned in the future!
> 
> Also, a quick note: I know ESPN's Body Issue mostly covers just North American athletes. However, Viktor's clearly a household name in YOI-verse, so I'm going to handwave that.

_Transcript of Jack Zimmermann’s appearance on_ Ellen:

 **Ellen:** Jack Zimmermann, man of the hour!  
**Jack:** It’s nice to be here, Ms DeGeneres, thank you for having me.  
**Ellen:** And polite, too. You know what they say about Canadians.  
**Jack:** Sorry.  
**Ellen:** See what I mean? Anyway, Jack, seems like the ice is melting here because you’ve been making quite a few waves lately! What with the Falconers winning the Stanley Cup — congratulations, by the way.  
**Jack:** Thank you. I can’t claim credit for that though; it was a team effort. We all gave it our best and we were rewarded.  
**Ellen:** So modest, like his father. I’m just saying, Jack, that might not have been your personal victory — though you did score a lot of the goals that led to this win, _including_ the last one — but what happened next surely must have been. Let’s take a look:

[ _VIDEO CLIP: Recorded footage of Jack passing the Cup off just as someone emerges from the crowd onto the rink, tackling Jack onto the ice in a kiss._ ]

 **Ellen:** So from what I hear, that fine young gentleman’s your boyfriend, Eric Bittle?  
**Jack:** Yeah he is.  
**Ellen:** When did you two meet?  
**Jack:** We played for Samwell Men’s Hockey together, on the same line. He played well; we were a great team.  
**Ellen:** And then that team camaraderie became more, I guess?  
**Jack:** It did.  
**Ellen:** And Mr Bittle was recently captain of Samwell Men’s Hockey?  
**Jack:** [ _Nodding_ ] He led them to their first NCAA Championships. I’ve never been prouder. Except maybe when he was first awarded the C.  
**Ellen:** I also hear Mr Bittle has some connections in figure skating?  
**Jack:** He used to compete in it when he was in middle school, I think. He’s been practicing in his downtime ever since we were together at Samwell; he talks sometimes about getting back into it after graduation.  
**Ellen:** Wow. Well, we have here a sample of one of his routines on Instagram — you can see him jumping what I’ve been reliably informed is a quad Salchow — how hard do you reckon that is?  
**Jack:** Very hard. I couldn’t do it.

[ _VIDEO CLIP: Eric Bittle skating a portion of a routine to Beyoncé’s “Halo”._ ]

 **Jack:** Yeah, wow. My cousins tell me quad jumps take a lot of effort. Bits’s been practicing for years now and only just managed to land them consistently.  
**Ellen:** He’s multi-talented, I see. He actually sent to us this pie —

[ _She reaches behind her chair and brings out a pie, beautifully latticed_ ]

 **Ellen:** And it’s too beautiful for us to eat immediately, so I’ve been sorta parading it around, showing it off to all the hungry interns…  
**Jack:** Oh, boysenberry. I like those, but I prefer his apple maple sugar better.  
**Ellen:** Is that your favourite?  
**Jack:** WIthout a doubt. I don’t eat baked goods from anywhere else now.  
**Ellen:** High praise. Well, I suppose we should serve up a slice so I can see what the fuss is all about…

[ _Ellen and Jack both cut themselves slices of pie. Ellen’s eyes light up._ ]

 **Ellen:** Man. I’m going to get a little Dale Cooper here but this is some _damn fine_ pie.  
**Jack:** I told you so.  
**Ellen:** Listen, if I weren’t gay and happily married, you’d better watch out, Zimmermann.  
**Jack:** I get that a lot, though when it’s from my teammates it’s usually ‘if I weren’t straight’.  
**Ellen:** Your boy has a gift, Zimmermann, you better treat him like royalty.  
**Jack:** Oh, I hope so. He’s one of the best reasons in my life to keep on going, you know. To keep trying my hardest and doing my best.  
**Ellen:** So, besides Mr Bittle of the heavenly pies, who else is an inspiration in your life?  
**Jack:** Well, my father, of course, though that’s arguably some big boots to fill —  
**Ellen:** No doubt, but you seem well on your way to filling them —  
**Jack:** I hope so. Besides him, I’m also a big fan of Yuuri Katsuki. The figure skater? Engaged to Viktor Nikiforov?  
**Ellen:** Oh, Vicky! I had him on here a couple years back after his first Worlds title. We keep in touch; he follows me on Twitter. [ _She briefly mouths ‘you should too’ at the camera._ ]  
**Jack:** Yeah, Yuuri’s um. Well, he and Viktor have been an inspiration for both me and Bits over the past couple of years. I mean, they did that tackle-kiss thing first. [ _Laughs_ ] It’s just great to see him change and grow as a person over the years, and how much better his skating gets each season. He reminds me of myself sometimes, because — I know I can push through everything alone, but it’s just so much better when I don’t have to do that, you know? I’d rather face the world with someone I love and support, who loves and supports me back.  
**Ellen:** That’s wonderfully stated. [ _To the camera_ ] We’ll be right back after these messages.

* * *

“Phichit sent me a clip from Jack Zimmermann’s appearance on _Ellen_ , said I should look at it,” says Yuuri over his usual mug of genmaicha.

Viktor pauses with his hand halfway to the toaster. It’s their day off, but Yuuri’s stomach had woken both of them up for breakfast. “Jack Zimmermann went on _Ellen_?” he echoes, raising an eyebrow. “Exciting. She’s a lovely host.”

Yuuri laughs, and quickly plays the segment. On the screen, a handsome dark-haired hockey player smiles in a light blue button-down, his well-chiselled face reminiscent of a buffer and less obnoxious Jean-Jacques Leroy.

He feels Viktor leaning over his shoulder moments later, breath tickling his ear. “You know, I’ve never actually _met_ Zimmermann, but I’ve met a lot of people who know him,” Viktor remarks as Jack talks about his boyfriend on screen. “One of his exes, Kent Parson, spent some time with me and Chris at the Sochi Olympics. And his teammate Alexei Mashkov was one of my childhood friends.”

“You mentioned that,” Yuuri points out. “He used to date Mila, I think?”

“Yeah.” Viktor laughs. “Didn’t end too well for him.”

On the screen, Jack is suddenly talking about Yuuri. “ _It’s just great to see him change and grow as a person over the years, and how much better his skating gets each season_ ,” he states passionately, his expression excited and earnest. “ _He reminds me of myself sometimes, because I know I can push through everything alone, but it’s just so much better when I don’t have to do that, you know? I’d rather face the world with someone I love and support, who loves and supports me back_.”

“We saw him at Worlds in Boston, didn’t we?” asks Viktor. “He said you were his inspiration then, too.”

“Yeah.” Yuuri feels a little light. “It’s strange. I don’t usually —”

“You’ve got more fans than just Zimmermann and Minami, you know.” Viktor says. “Don’t underestimate yourself.”

“I guess,” says Yuuri, sighing. “Phichit’s always called me a magnet for hockey bros.”

Viktor raises an eyebrow. “ _Really_?” he says, his eyes gleaming in a way that sends goosebumps down Yuuri’s arm. The last time he’d seen Viktor like this, his fiancé had demanded he scale Hasetsu Castle. Naked.

“Yeah,” he says. “A bunch of them back in Detroit would always be outside their frathouse doing push-ups and stuff whenever I jogged by during the mornings.”

Viktor laughs. “Oh my _god_ , Yuuri.” He presses a kiss to the side of Yuuri’s head, reaching out to pause the clip of Jack on Yuuri’s phone. “Did you _know_ they were showing off for you?”

“No!” Yuuri’s cheeks are so incredibly overheated right now. “I mean, not at the time! One of them asked me if I was DTF and I asked him if that meant ‘down to figure skate’. Phichit almost laughed himself into a coma when he heard.”

Viktor snorts. “Well, _I’m_ glad Zimmermann is in a fulfilling relationship of his own, because otherwise I’d be concerned.”

Yuuri rolls his eyes. “As if I’d have eyes for anyone else besides you.”

* * *

Viktor is a grown man approaching thirty. He shouldn’t feel like this, and yet —

Yuuri smiles brightly at Jack Zimmermann at the side of the rink just after his exhibition skate, the hockey player having made it out to Yuuri’s first competition for the new season with his excitable pie-baking boyfriend in tow. Everything about it is perfectly innocuous, and yet something twinges in Viktor’s gut at the way Jack Zimmermann turns bright red under the beaming wattage of Yuuri Katsuki’s smile.

“Yuuri!” he calls, striding over and slipping an arm around Yuuri’s shoulder. “Are you being nice to your fans?”

“Oh my god, it’s Viktor Nikiforov,” gushes Jack Zimmermann’s excitable pie-baking boyfriend. Viktor’s used to that, so he turns a bright smile over to the young man, watching him flush just as horribly as his boyfriend. “Jack, I don’t… I can’t believe I forgot my poster…”

“I could sign Yuuri’s,” Viktor says, nodding at the print that Jack is having Yuuri autograph over the side of the rink.

“I think I have a notebook,” says the blond, rummaging around in his backpack before coming up with a small notepad. “This isn’t as nice, I’m afraid.”

Viktor smiles and takes it, scribbling his signature on it alongside a couple Xs. “How about you give me your address and I send over a signed poster to you?” he asks. “God knows Yuuri’s bought plenty.”

“You’re not taking any from my stash,” Yuuri rebukes as he caps the pen and hands the poster of himself back to Jack. “Thank you for your support.” And he bows.

Viktor swears he could see Jack’s spirit slowly seeping from his body in absolute bliss. He takes Yuuri’s hand, smiling brightly.

“How about we all go out for drinks?” he asks.

The blond, who has just scribbled out ‘Eric Bittle’ and his address on a blank notepad page, shakes his head. “I’m sorry, our flight’s in the morning and we said we’d spend time with Jack’s cousin, JJ. He pulled some strings to get us back here, so…”

“Oh, right, the silver medalist!” Viktor smiles and nods. “Give him our congratulations.”

Yuuri’s looking downright mortified at the gold medal that Viktor knows is tucked away back in their hotel room, but neither Jack nor Eric seem fazed. “We’ll tell him you said hi,” Eric offers brightly, before ripping out the notebook paper and pressing it into Viktor’s hands. He then rummages in his backpack again and comes up with two cellophane bags full of cookies. “And here, congratulations on your own win! I would have made mini-pies but Jack said they might not survive the flight over.”

Viktor laughs at that, as Yuuri skates off to get out of the rink. The ice is still half-lit by spotlights, and Yuuri gracefully twirls beneath one of the lights as he heads for the exit. Viktor can hear Jack’s intake of breath, and suddenly the twinge is back in his stomach.

“Thank you, both of you,” he says, as he begins to head in the direction of where his fiancé is, “for coming here to support Yuuri. I’ll see you around.”

Eric waves, but Jack’s gaze still seems fixated on Yuuri.

* * *

**Five-time Consecutive World Champion Figure Skater to Pose for ESPN Body Issue**

Tavi Myers in SPORTS, NEWS, CELEBRITIES

ESPN has officially confirmed that Viktor Nikiforov, a five-time world champion in Men’s Singles figure skating, will finally make an appearance in the 2018 Body Issue. Nikiforov, who has flirted with the possibility of posing for the Body Issue ever since he won his third consecutive World Championship, says that he might as well do it now, as he’s just retired in order to coach his fiancé Yuuri Katsuki full-time.

“It’s a good time for me to finally cave to the inevitable,” Nikiforov says. “I’ve got more free time on my hands right now, and better late than never, right?”

Nikiforov has pledged to donate his share of the proceeds from magazine sales to Anyone Can Skate, a non-profit organization dedicated to bringing figure skating lessons and coaching programs to lower-income communities.

“It’s time for me to give back,” he says, “to help make sure that anyone who wants to learn to love the ice like I do has the opportunity to do so regardless of their ability to pay.”

( _Continue Reading…_ )

* * *

“Oh good sweet lord,” mutters Eric ‘Bitty’ Bittle as he stares at the newsstand at the local bookstore. It’s tucked in between cookbooks and self-help books, which is half of the reason why he’s here, but he’d gotten distracted halfway through by a glimpse of silver hair and a flash of blue eyes, and sure enough there’s the 2018 edition of the ESPN Body Issue proudly posed on a shelf, Viktor’s gloriously nude (and tastefully censored) body emblazoned across the front.

He snaps a picture of it and shoots it off to the SMH group chat (which at this point is more of a group of SMH alums) and is rewarded moments later with excited screeching.

 _It’s out?_ demands Lardo. _Buy me a copy, Bits_.

 _It’s probably at_ your _local newsstand, too_ , Bitty points out. _That is, unless it’s already been sold out._

 _Can you hear that?_ Ransom asks. _That’s the sound of Viktor Nikiforov’s_ entire _North American fanbase furiously jerking off to these new sanctioned nudes_.

 _Sanctioned nudes, lol!_ chips in Chowder, and Bitty stifles a snort with a cough as he swipes one of the copies off the shelf and heads for the register.

The girl behind the register grins brightly at him when he slams down the issue. “Buying it for the Viktor Nikiforov spread?” she asks. Bitty feels his cheeks heating up as he hands over his card, which in turn only seems to amuse her more.

“Would you believe me if I said I wasn’t?” Bitty asks.

“I’d be extremely sceptical,” she replies, and he laughs. His phone pings again, and he briefly checks it to see a couple new texts from the SMH group chat. _Bits are you getting it_? Ransom asks.

 _Yeah_ , he replies. _For science_.

There’s a string of laughing emojis from everyone, and Bitty rolls his eyes and signs his receipt, pushing it across the counter in exchange for his magazine. “Thanks,” he tells her, and she winks.

“Have fun,” she drawls through her sly grin, and Bitty shakes his head. He has his own popular skater back home who can help him with whatever dirty ideas he gets in his head; he doesn’t need to pretend with a picture of Viktor Nikiforov.

Jack, on the other hand, seems to have a slightly different view of that. “Viktor Nikiforov’s ESPN nudes, eh?” he chirps when he comes across the magazine lying on the coffee table later that afternoon. “Thought we were exclusive.”

Bitty wags a wooden spoon at him. “We _are_ , dear,” he says. “I was just curious.”

“Curious about what?” Jack flips through the magazine, stopping and holding the pages out at arm’s length with an odd quirk in his brows. “You know, I heard Kent Parson met him at the Olympics once.”

“Really.” Bitty doesn’t _mean_ for his voice to sound as dry as it does in that moment, but the road to hell seems to be paved with a lot of that sort of stuff. “Well, I hear a lot of things about the Olympics.”

“I’m sure Yuuri knows,” Jack agrees, tossing down the magazine onto the kitchen counter. “They’re nice photos of Viktor, though. Artistic.”

“That’s the entire _point_ of the Body Issue,” Bitty says, chuckling. “They’re not so much pornographic as they are artistic. Now, _your_ cousin’s spread for that one Japanese magazine —”

“Oh _god_.” Jack rubs at his temples. “Don’t remind me. The rest of the family chirped him for a _month_.”

“I’m just saying, if Yuuri does a spread for them, it would be a lot closer to softcore porn than what _this_ is.” Bitty jabs the spoon towards the magazine, before putting it back over the pot. Wiping his hand on his apron, he then saunters over to Jack, looping his hands around his boyfriend’s waist and pulling him closer. “So, if I promise to not get weirdly jealous if I do happen to catch you with a copy of Yuuri Katsuki’s spread for _An-An_ sometime in the future, will you promise to let this go?”

Jack considers it for all of a second before laughing, kissing him on the forehead. “Was that a chirp or a serious request?” he asks.

“Couldn’t it be both?” wonders Bitty, looking up at him. Jack’s cheeks flush bright red, and he nods.

“I thought you also had a teenage fantasy of getting Viktor Nikiforov to coach and then fall in love with you,” he remarks.

“Yes, but I’m not a teenager anymore, am I?” Bitty grins, leaning up to kiss Jack’s cheek. “I’m a big kid now, and that means I can trade an unbelievably beautiful figure skating god for my own little hockey bun, right here.”

Jack chuckles, his lips inching closer and closer. Bitty closes his eyes in anticipation, drowning briefly in the smell of his shampoo, the clean linen scent of his recently-laundered shirt.

The hiss of the pot boiling over jerks him quickly back to reality, and he scrambles for the stove to stir the pasta inside. “Now come on and help me out here,” he instructs, and Jack is all too glad to follow.

* * *

_Excerpts from “Melting the Ice: Viktor Nikiforov Bares All”_

**Strength without beauty is meaningless.** People sometime tell me my routines are too flowery, or my costume choices too extravagant. But they don’t understand that it is ultimately the artistry of the routine that matters. You can win a competition without quads. You can’t without beauty.

 **It takes years and years of dedication.** These photos won’t show it, but behind each seemingly-effortless quad is years of hard work and pain. My knees and ankles may never be the same, not after I’ve thrown my own weight onto them over and over and over again. But if I were given the choice to do it all over, I would pick the ice every time. It has given me all of the love I put into it, at last.

 **Life and Love.** These were two things for which I temporarily stepped off the ice back in 2016. I believe I have found them now; my fiancé Yuuri Katsuki inspires me each and every day to be a better coach and athlete. He makes my world a more beautiful place.

 **From Russia with love.** The sales proceeds for my portion of this issue will go out to figure skating classes and coaching programmes in lower-income communities. I want everyone to be able to discover the same love and joy that I feel when I am on the ice, regardless of their ability to pay.

 **What next?** I want to dedicate my time to coaching Yuuri, and hopefully take on more students in the years to come. I want to pay it forward and help guide a new generation of young, dedicated skaters to victories beyond their wildest dreams.

 **You can leave the ice, but the ice doesn’t leave you.** I don’t think I will be able to spend my life far from the rink. Even if I’m not on it competing, I’m just as glad to be next to it as a coach and choreographer, shaping the next generation of skaters who will go on to make history.

* * *

Yuuri Katsuki is not okay, and has not been okay since Phichit first sent the news announcement.

He’d talked to Viktor about it around the time Viktor had announced he was taking ESPN’s offer to pose for the Body Issue, which had happened sometime after their encounter with Jack Zimmermann and Eric Bittle (who Yuuri still remembers as ‘cute baker boyfriend’ before his name). At the time, he’d said he was fine with it. Viktor’s a grown adult; he can make his own decisions about the amount of skin he wants to bare in a sports magazine.

Now he’s definitely not okay, but in a slightly different way.

Viktor’s spread lies before him in his lap. Phichit had sent over a copy of the magazine, with a note attached that says ‘you’re welcome’ with a winky face. Yuuri has half a mind to fly to the States and buy every single copy of the Body Issue in circulation, but that would probably fall into the category of ‘creepy possessive things a good fiancé shouldn’t do’, and he’d rather not go there again.

(Surely owning the world’s largest Viktor Nikiforov shrine would also fall into that category, but Viktor had taken that remarkably well in stride. This might not elicit a similar response, though.)

Yuuri thumbs through each of the images, trying to remember how to breathe. They’re all artistic, all exceedingly beautiful, and… does Viktor really have _all_ of these muscles? He clearly hasn’t been giving them the attention they deserve.

The first image of Viktor has him out in an Ina Bauer, legs carefully positioned to make the pose as tasteful as possible and yet _somehow_ still so raunchy, as he is clearly wearing nothing but his stupid gold-plated figure skates and the pose makes his ass look like it came from a Greek statue.

The second one has him in a layback spin, his spine gracefully curving upwards, his head tossed back in what looks like the throes of ecstasy.

The third has him in a lunge, and oh _god_ Yuuri can’t keep going, but he can’t look away, either. There’s something too sinful in the way the light dances off Viktor’s muscles, caresses his pale, _flawless_ skin, accentuates his toned and perfect _ass_ —

All of the blood that had previously been circulating throughout Yuuri’s body is now travelling southwards at an alarming speed. He shifts onto the couch a little more, but somehow the movement makes his already uncomfortable sweats much worse. With a groan, he turns the pages and finds there’s three more pictures left.

That’s already six pictures too many for his poor heart.

The fourth one has Viktor landing a jump — a quad flip, probably — his free leg perfectly extended and his arms swan-like. The fifth one has him off the ice at last, his skates slung over his shoulder and a flirtatious wink on his face. And the last one —

Oh, the last one is the _worst_. The last one is Viktor sprawled out on a furry white rug, his expression caught between sultry and coy and having the time of his fucking life. His skates are placed right in front of his crotch, in a way that still leaves precious little else to the imagination, especially in the dip of his narrow hips and the planes of his statuesque abs. His nipples are flushed a rosy pink that’s just _begging_ to be licked and kissed, and his striking blue eyes seem to bore into Yuuri’s soul even from the printed page, smouldering like a promise.

“Like what you see?” Viktor’s voice cuts through Yuuri’s thoughts at that moment. He looks up, startled at the sight of his fiancé’s grinning face and those same striking blue eyes, now dancing merrily.

“They’re… nice pictures,” Yuuri manages weakly, shoving the magazine to the side and putting a pillow onto his lap. Viktor raises an eyebrow. Yuuri flushes harder.

“I know they’re lovely.” Viktor’s grin is downright mischievous. “But did _you_ like them?”

“A little too much,” replies Yuuri. “Though I have to say I’m not sure if I want the entire world to know what you look like naked, too.”

Viktor’s eyes light up at that. “You want me all to yourself?” he asks, stepping towards Yuuri on the couch and moving the cushion without much of a struggle. Slowly he runs a finger down Yuuri’s chest, pausing over his racing heart. “Want to see the one thing these magazine readers don’t get to see?”

Yuuri swallows, his mouth suddenly drier than the desert. Viktor licks his lips as he settles himself into Yuuri’s lap, straddling his hips. Yuuri’s heart jolts a little as Viktor brushes against him with a sly little smirk.

“Come on, Yuuri, make me yours,” Viktor teases, and Yuuri suddenly realises it.

 _Life and love_ , Viktor had pointed out. _My fiancé_. He says it almost like he’s staking a claim. Inviting the gaze of his fans all over the world onto his body just for a chance to remind them that he’s taken — leave it to Viktor to declare his devotion in such a dramatic way. It wouldn’t be like him if it had been anything less.

“This is just as bad as the time you scaled Hasetsu Castle over a fish statue,” Yuuri mutters. “You were naked then, too.”

“Maybe you should pose for that softcore magazine,” retorts Viktor as he tangles his fingers in the hairs at Yuuri’s nape. “Just to even things out a bit.”

Yuuri laughs. “Shut up and kiss me,” he says, and Viktor does.

* * *

Lardo’s grin is nothing short of shit-eating the next time she drops by their flat, a carefully-wrapped package in her hands. “I got you a present from Japan, Jack,” she says, tossing the parcel at him. He catches it handily, ruffling her hair.

Bitty raises an eyebrow from the couch as Jack settles back against him and starts to tear open the wrapping. Lardo sits down cross-legged on the armchair, grinning from ear to ear.

Jack audibly groans as he finally removes all of the wrapping, and Bitty’s eyes go wide when he sees Yuuri Katsuki on the front of the magazine, one finger pressing against pale pink parted lips. His hair can only be described as ‘sex-touseled’, and he’s wearing nothing but extremely loosely-placed white bedsheets.

Bitty had promised he wouldn’t get jealous, and he isn’t. It’s all just good sportsmanship with a dash of idol worship and celebrity crush. In any case, the winded expression on Jack’s face is too hilarious not to chirp.

“Oh Lardo, you really shouldn’t have,” he says, squeezing Jack’s hand. “Thanks for the spank bank deposit.”

Lardo doesn’t exactly laugh herself into a coma, but she comes very close.


End file.
